Getting rid of PhotoMatt was easy? Nah!
April 1, 2008 by photoallan
My No. 2 unfoe at WordPress, Matthew Mullenweg (self-imposed Authoritarian Matt) has been blogging (not ranting) at his finely carved, design rich blog PhotoMatt, since ages.
But one of the best kept secrets by the WordPress Team is that, sometime in early 2008 he (Matthew) was kidnapped by Aliens, who infused in him the importance of being Matt and not PhotoMatt. Deep Sources at WP reveal that a certain kind of super ultrasonic, poetry-coded machine was used for this top secret operation.
Officers at the Central Commandos of Internet Alien Agency (CCIAA) rescued him on January 23 at 2:34pm, while the spaceship was flying over Trinidad and Tobago; he (Matthew) had already taken the first step of being Ma.tt, and not PhotoMatt.
Decoding his new domain name, Ma.tt:
The word ‘Ma‘ in Hindi, an Indo-Aryan language, means ‘Mother’. (It’s interesting that the word Hindī is of Persian origin and Matthew’s blog design - the background - is based on Persian Architecture).
Experts believe that Matthew had sent an encoded beam of sound-waves (thanks to his upgraded, yet to be released, iPhone) to his Mummy, as the extraterrestrial flying saucer was over tt (Trinidad and Tobago). But the National Mumma Specific Domain Registrars (NMSDR) misunderstood the waves and decoded them into signals, and hence the world saw the birth of ‘Ma-tt’ infused Ma.tt.
The CCIAA commandos sent me a few sketches that is believed to have been the source of reference for Aliens, before the operation was executed.
Disclosure: Matthew would have declined to comment, provided I sent him an unofficial, informal postal mail at his Royal Texas Mansion, whose nameplate simply reads, “Google, Matt” (this one doesn’t bounce back).
Note: Sources close to the matter reveal that Matthew is secretly receiving free tuition’s in basic Hindi from a close associate at WordPress Headquarters, who also happens to be a graduate from the prestigious St. Stephen’s College, New Delhi, India.
The tutor, who wished not to be named, revealed that Matthew has allegedly skipped 4-5 sessions in the past; the reason why he misspells “Namaste” as “No Masti”.
Update: Enjoy April Fools!
